Mike's next best hire awards.

Celebrating the unmatched brilliance of Mike Cannon-Brookes' next hire, Jeff.

JIRA = Jeff Is Really Awesome!

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Jeff and Mike
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JIRA = Jeff Is Really Awesome

Welcome to Mike's Next Best Hire - a site that exists solely to show JIRA creator Mike Cannon-Brookes that Jeff is not only the employee he deserves but the one the world needs. Let's not waste time. Mike, your next 'unicorn' just showed up rocking jorts, sandals, and a bum-bag, ready to innovate like it's '99.

90%
Jeff's Awesomeness
(he lost 10% for overachieving)
100%
Jeff is a good fit for Atlassian
(Yes, he's that good. No, he won't stop telling you)
98%
Chance Jeff steals Mike's parking spot
(he's just helping Mike get more steps in)
97%
Chance Jeff eats last office doughnut
(he says it's "for research")

The Awards   🏆

Most Likely to Deploy on a Friday
Most Likely to Deploy on a Friday

For the person who treats Friday like their personal game of Russian Roulette, pushing code just before the weekend. But hey, it always works out - and nothing says "success" like living on the edge!

Awarded to: JEFF 🏆
Master of Google Search: Stack Overflow Edition
Master of Google Search: Stack Overflow Edition

For having a sixth sense for sniffing out that one golden answer buried under a mountain of Stack Overflow nonsense, while the rest of us are scrolling like it's an Olympic event, praying we don't accidentally upvote a 2010 comment.

Awarded to: JEFF 🏆
Best Use of GIFs in a Professional Setting
Best Use of GIFs in a Professional Setting

For the master of GIFs who insists that injecting humour into our digital discussions is essential. Because clearly, nothing says "professionalism" quite like a well-placed dancing cat.

Awarded to: JEFF 🏆
Best at Using Tech Jargon to Sound Busy
Mike's "Best at Using Tech Jargon to Sound Busy"

For the person who effortlessly drops buzzwords like "synergy," "scalable," and "blockchain" into every conversation, making sure everyone thinks they're solving world hunger, or at least debugging.

Awarded to: JEFF 🏆
Zoom Muted Mic
Mike's "Zoom Muted Mic"

For successfully speaking for five full minutes in a Zoom meeting without realizing you were muted. Your ability to continue speaking during technical difficulties is truly inspiring.

Awarded to: JEFF 🏆
CSS Wizardry
Mike's "CSS Wizardry"

For wielding CSS like a magic wand, creating layouts out of thin air while simultaneously breaking everything else on the page. Your techniques are powerful - too bad they only seem to work in your local environment.

Awarded to: JEFF 🏆

Why Hire Jeff?   🥷

💬   Jeff is a master at Slack Banter

Mike, we both know that real productivity is measured in GIFs sent, memes shared, and spontaneous Slack debates. Jeff's Slack game is so strong, it might just win over the entire company before any code does.

🌴   Jeff is passionate about sustainability

But mostly because he’s been using the same laptop since 2012. It's eco-friendly, right? Plus, he's probably saving the planet one outdated software version at a time.

🤖   Jeff is an entrepreneur at heart

Sure, he hasn't actually launched anything yet - but he's got 47 ideas. All of them involve some combination of blockchain, AI, and a toaster oven. But, you know... it could work.

💪   Jeff Will Solve All Your Problems

Well, at least the ones that are his problems. If it's not broken, he'll break it and then magically fix it in ways no one understands. Innovation, Mike. It's all about the process.

🍞   Jeff Will Bring New Ideas to the Table

Sure, they'll probably involve memes, a lot of sarcasm, and a few conspiracy theories - but Mike, that's how innovation happens, right? Just don't ask about the "toaster" idea.

🚀   Jeff Can Make Anything Happen

As long as "making anything happen" involves an idea he Googled 10 minutes ago, and some very questionable code. But hey, it'll look cool on an overhead projector presentation, and that's the main thing.

Contact

Hire Jeff while he's still grounded, and before he starts wearing sunglasses indoors.

Photos With Mike   📷

  • Basketball Photo
    When the only thing higher than Atlassian's stock price is my vertical leap over Mike!
  • Mike and Jeff relaxing
    Sure, Mike's a billionaire, but let's not overlook his true talent: being my personal human ottoman.
  • Nasdaq
    Celebrating the Nasdaq float, Jeff is discreetly assessing the guy in the blue shirt while plotting a covert takeover of his corner office.
  • Ping Pong
    Playing ping-pong with Mike: the only chance I get to 'paddle' a billionaire, while casually reminding him I'm so ready for those free Atlassian staff lunches!
Contact

Hire Jeff, while he's still pretending to be humble.

Praise from the Visionaries: Why Jeff is the Only Option

Mike Cannon-Brookes
If innovation had a face, it would be Jeff's. And then it would probably steal your parking spot. Mike Cannon-Brookes,
Co-Founder of Atlassian
Scott Farquhar
Working with Jeff is like hiring a genius, except he also makes sure you know how much smarter he is than everyone else. It's fun. Really. Scott Farquhar,
Co-Founder of Atlassian
Larry Page
Jeff's the only person who's ever told me, 'Good job, but I could've done it faster.' Thanks, Jeff. Larry Page,
Co-Founder of Google
Elon Musk
I thought I was the smartest person in the room until Jeff walked in. Now I just sit quietly and nod, hoping to absorb some of his genius. Elon Musk,
CEO of Tesla & SpaceX
Richard Branson
If Jeff had a private island, it would probably be named 'Productivity Paradise.' I'd want a vacation there! Richard Branson,
Founder of Virgin Group
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